I started this blog for two reasons. First, I love to write. I have always been a writer. I went to college for Pre-Med but four years later I graduated from the University of Iowa having a scholarship to the School of Journalism, being a reporter for the Daily Iowan newspaper, and with a degree in Communications. The universe was clearly telling me to stay in my lane. But anyone in the field knows that journalism doesn’t pay the bills, so I ended up getting a “real” job in media planning for 7 years (which also didn’t pay the bills, but it did have some amazing perks that made scraping by, living in a 600 sq ft studio apartment, bearable). And now, as the 13-year gap in my resume showcases, life happened, and I became a stay at home mom to three littles. Writing fell to the bottom of a long to do list. That is, until 2 years ago when I got sober. During my sobriety journey, I used journaling to help me work through 40 years’ worth of emotional baggage. Twelve hundred pages later, my family enrolled me in a Writers Workshop class for my birthday so I could “start writing for real” again. That class, along with 18 months of weekly therapy, created the space to fuel my fire and ignite my passion for writing again, to believe in myself.

Secondly, I created this blog because of my own sobriety journey. Back in 2020, after a 25-year relationship with alcohol, I embarked on Dry January and found myself so alone – I did not know one person who was sober. I was desperate to find connections, to relate to others, to belong and find purpose without alcohol. I joined the This Naked Mind online community, I consumed the entire gamut of quit lit books and all of the 300 page sobriety memoirs (all amazing and so helpful), but I was in crisis mode. All of these resources weren’t aligning with what I was experiencing – it felt too coachy, too inspirational (if that’s the right word) and I could not relate to any of it because at the time, sobriety seemed impossible and unrealistic. In those beginning days, I could not even fathom what the other side of drinking, and a life without alcohol, would look like. Honestly, I was so alone and felt like I was the only one who couldn’t handle alcohol, that there was something wrong with me, and no one else could understand what I was going through. I didn’t know who to turn to, who to talk with, I thought everyone would judge me, so I suffered alone – I didn’t even tell my own husband until I was 3 months sober. And during that time, I needed and craved shorter, more real-life and relatable stories (that I could read from the comfort of my own home, too ashamed to even show my face in any AA meeting) about everyday people like me, who had been through or were going through sobriety. I wanted honesty about the real-life struggles, the changing relationships, how to navigate the unknowns, coping mechanisms and most of all, I was looking for a reflection of myself, to give me hope. In those beginning days, I literally wanted someone to throw me a damn parade because I had gone a week without a single drink – that’s where I was mentally, desperate for acknowledgement and relatability.

And that’s why I’m starting this blog: To give you someone to identify with, to feel like someone has their hand on your back so you don’t feel alone. I realize everyone’s sobriety journey and “destination” looks so different, and that’s what this blog will showcase, real life stories in short, consumable packages (not novels where you have to invest tons of time). I want to highlight the entire messy road, to meet you where you are: the various rock bottoms, the ugly truths about detox and cravings, the emotional struggles, the changing relationships, isolation and the need for connection. I want to celebrate real life, the honest struggles and the everyday victories.

I recognize sobriety has a stigma wrapped around it — it’s an intimidating subject with some heavy stereotypes that are steeped in ignorance. However, the sober movement has so much momentum and it’s no longer that scary word that silences a party. It’s such an exciting time because sobriety is getting so much attention and shedding a light on the fact that sobriety no longer means you’re going to be rejected from society or never have fun again. The stories on this blog will give you a glimpse into the reality of the sober world, celebrating everyday people in our community who are leading amazing lives without alcohol – our neighbors, our friends, our coworkers. You may not even realize these individuals are sober because it doesn’t define them, instead it has simply become a part of who they are. It’s about embracing a new lifestyle. So, whether you’re contemplating your drinking habits, are already sober or are just sober curious, we can all relate to these stories and the relationship struggles and daily challenges of life.

Before I start, I want to let you all know I’m not a coach, I have no professional training, and I’m not making money on this blog. Instead, I just want to give back and contribute in a way that is helpful and gives hope. I always had an idea for this blog, but it wasn’t until my second soberversary that I finally believed I could make a difference. So, I’ll share a bit of my own personal recovery story.

I was so ashamed of my addiction that it took me an entire year of sobriety to finally share my story. Not even my own parents, friends, etc knew about my struggles. When I say my journey was lonely, I fought this battle by myself. But on my one-year soberversary I did the most terrifying yet freeing thing I’ve ever done in my life (besides quitting drinking and getting into therapy): I announced my sobriety on Facebook for all 381 friends to see. Honest and raw. I knew there was a chance of rejection, for criticism, for more shame. But I didn’t care, because for the last 366 days I had shown up for myself, every single day – when no one else was looking or holding me accountable, I showed up for me. I won’t bore you with the hundreds of supportive messages I received, the snail mail cards, the private messages from people asking for help with their own drinking habits. But my point of the story, and the reason I’m starting this blog is after that post I realized how much we’re all craving connection and honesty. My truth, my struggles, my real-life story, it resonated with people on a new level, one they were desperate for, and it was so powerful. That day I received a text from a long-lost friend who said “my hands are literally shaking right now – your FB post hit me hard. The struggle is real – the words you wrote are literally my life script. I have been struggling for 3 years and it’s a silent struggle. I attempted sobriety last year and made it 90 days but now I’m on day 5 again. I’m not sure why I’m saying all this except I want to say thank you for being so open and vulnerable. You are a true inspiration, and it feels good to know I’m not alone in this struggle.”

I checked in on this friend a couple more times throughout the year, but on my 2nd soberversary (this past January 2022) I received a text from her again “I did it!! I made it an entire year alcohol free. On this day, last year, I read your Facebook post and it brought me to tears. Every word you wrote was the exact same narrative that had been replaying in my mind for years. Your Facebook poste gave me the fire I needed and most importantly made me feel like I wasn’t alone with this struggle. So today I want to send you a HUGE THANK YOU!! You may never know just how much you’ve helped me, but hopefully this text gives you an idea. Here is to many more seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks months and years being sober. Thank you, friend.” And that, that was enough to get me going on this blog. If I can just give one person hope, a feeling of belonging, knowing that you’re not alone in this struggle, it will be worth it.

And a little side note: Four years ago, I moved from Atlanta, Georgia to Seattle, Washington and started a blog called When Life Hands You Seattle. I wrote about the nuances, hilarities, and exploration of moving cross country to a new city as a family of 5. But after a few months, I got in my own head and convinced myself I was an imposter in a bloggers’ world, so I gave up writing and dove deeper into alcohol. But two years of sobriety has given me a renewed confidence and a second chance at writing. So, I’m back and have combined my two passions — writing and sobriety — together to create this new blog – When Life Hands You Sobriety.   

Welcome, I’m so grateful you are here!